I distinctly remember reading this article in the NY Times. My hands already hurt from what I suspected was RA yet to be diagnosed, and I felt utterly defeated. Our neighbors kids were visiting for the summer, and they were outside. I could see them out the window to the left of where I sat at my computer. I had the flash of walking upstairs to get my pistol, out into the yard (don’t make a mess inside), and killing myself. I thought that would be a rather rude thing to do to those kids so I sat glued to my chair. That was my exact thought process.