control

In a previous post I spoke of my aunt, my mother’s sister, being diagnosed with RA. Her daughter, my cousin, was also diagnosed with RA last month. This in turn led to long discussions about family history and I found out the following:
• both my maternal great-grandparents had RA
• of their 6 children only one seemed to present with RA (not my grandmother)
• of my grandmother’s 5 children, 3 presented with RA (my mother, and a younger sister and brother)
• the next generation would be mine where I and my cousin have both been diagnosed
• my cousin has two young daughters—I think we could make an educated guess about their fate, unfortunately

There have been many reminders in my life of late that I only control myself. All I can do is put the information out there. People can choose to do their own experiments or not.

I, unfortunately, tend to allow my mother to induce a certain amount of insanity in me. Is this true of all mother/daughter relationships? She has never looked out for her own health. Ever. She has watched what has happened with me over the past several years, and I thought she was paying attention: RA, paleo, functional medicine, MS improvement etc. I have conversation after conversation with her about all of these subjects, and, it seems, she absorbs none of it. My parents are paleo simply because my father believes in it, and he’s the one who cooks.

When several weeks ago my mother explains her “arthritis” to me, it sounded A LOT like undiagnosed sero-negative RA. Her response is, “I’ll talk to my Dr. about it next time I go in.” She, obviously, hasn’t been listening to a word I’ve said over the past 2 years. Simply depressing on many levels.

She also tells me she’s talked to her recently RA-diagnosed sister who assures her that, “…her MD has her on the meds that are right for her.” As I talked about in functional vs traditional, some people just prefer to do what their traditional medicine MDs say. It’s easier to take a pill rather than alter your diet. To each his own.

I can’t help but worry because my cousin’s allergies sound a great deal like mine which leads me to suspect we all carry the same MTHFR variant, as well.

My mother has not read the paleo books I sent my father. I doubt whether she ever will. She just goes along with what my father does—which in this case is good for her, paleo. If she’d bother to read the books, she’d understand why tomatoes with sugar make her hands so painful she must hold them under scalding water to encourage movement, why drinking tomato juice is not a good idea, why she craves high-sugar fruit (fungal dysbiosis, anyone?), and why eating eggs is a poor idea when they make her nauseous just to name the top items that spring to mind.

Alas, it is not my body. It is not my responsibility. I am only able to control myself.

It makes me incredibly sad that she endures the pain that she does when it could be alleviated. It is true for so many people, but it is their choice.

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